What do women want in a penis?
Research says that 40% of men are worried their penises are too small, and 80% of women say they like their man’s penis just the way it is.
The trouble with that second statistic is that it relied on women to say if they were happy with their partner’s member.
Which of course at least 80% of women are going to say, because at least 80% of women want to be kind to their men.
But what do women really want in a penis? Is yours just fine, or should you make it a little larger?
How big is too big?
Standup comics, marriage counselors, and sex therapists all have their own answers, but let’s look at what science tells us about women, your penis, and you.
The biggest problem with most surveys about what women want in a penis is that they are self-reported. That means the woman is asked point blank what she thinks, and the answer is recorded just as it’s given.
But those answers are rarely 100% true.
I’m not saying women are liars, but “do you like big dicks?” is a seriously loaded question.
Knowing that, some researchers have found different ways to measure what women want in a penis. Here are a few of the most well-regarded.
A team at the University of Ottawa in 2013 showed 105 women life-sized male figures and measured how long they gazed at figures with different physiologies and different penis sizes (source).
They used a variety of traits so they could compare:
•Tall man with large penis
•Tall man with short penis
•Short man with large penis
•Short man with short penis
By comparing across these combinations, they could isolate what the women really thought of penises, height, physique, etc.
In 2014, the UCLA Sexual Psychophysiology and Affective Neuroscience lab had women handle over 30 penis models made with a 3D printer, and choose which they would like for a partner, and which (if different) they would like for a one-night stand.
The penises ranged from 4 inches long and 2 1/2 inches around to 8 ½ long and 7 inches around.
Another 2014 study, this time among people in Kenya, looked at the penis sizes of men whose wives cheated on them.
They reasoned that people report their preferences by the way they behave, so cheating wives were essentially “voting with their fidelity.” (source)
Instead of asking about size in general, a pair of studies surveyed a total of 726 women about how they felt about length vs. girth.
Among the questions asked included how many sexual partners the respondents had, under the idea that more experienced women might have different opinions.
Drum roll, please…
The Ottawa study found women gazed longer at men with larger than average penises, men with broad shoulders, men with narrow hips, and tall men.
Further, they found each variable made about an equal difference…meaning penis size isn’t more important than other factors of attractiveness.
Further, they found that the gazes grew shorter as penises got longer than three inches while flaccid. This is an important finding that we’ll see again and again:
Not enough penis is a definite turnoff, but women definitely think there can be too much of a good thing.
The UCLA study found two important points when examining which models women said they’d want inside of them. First, women prefer big members for one-night stands. Second, they preferred slightly larger than average for a long-term relationship.
That study in Kenya further confirmed the notion that women really don’t like huge dicks. They found that every inch of length above average corresponded to a 150% increase in the likelihood of being cheated on.
The length vs. girth studies showed that most women found size unimportant, but those who did find it important considered girth a bigger factor than length.
This corresponds with more detailed findings from the UCLA study as well.
Let’s put this all together…
First of all, many of the studies talk about larger than average or smaller than average. Research puts the average length of men’s penises at around 5.2 inches erect. With that in mind, here’s what science seems to know about what women want, penis-wise.
They want a slightly larger than average penis.
But they don’t want one that’s too large. And they don’t want it so badly they’ll overlook other things that make you attractive.
That leads me to the following advice when it comes to the size of your member:
If your penis is under 6 1/2 inches while erect, use an extender or other exercise to get it into that “sweet spot” research says women prefer
If your penis is between 6 ½ and 8 inches erect, you’re fine. Worry about your hairline or something.
If you’re packing more than 8 erect inches, you’ll get a lot of short-term action but really work on your relationship game if you’re wanting something that lasts.
Girth matters, so if you’re doing exercises to increase the size of your member spend some time getting thicker.
Most importantly, though, remember that women only care about the size of your member when it’s a problem: if it’s so small you can’t really penetrate her fully, or if it’s so big it hurts.
In between those extremes, you’re probably okay. Unless you fall into the dreaded confidence spiral.
Final Note: The Confidence Spiral
One final result from many of the studies I’ve talked about here, and other studies, surveys and polls.
Women like a confident man!
This applies outside of sex too. Dating gurus and relationship coaches have known for a long time that women will always prefer the confident man who is direct and clear with his actions, versus the passive man who has no plan and no solid intentions.
In a relationship, women want to know how you feel! Giving a woman honesty and authenticity will help her feel secure with you and ultimately confident in herself.
That advice about being a “mysterious man” is a total myth and will cause your woman nothing but stress as she tries to guess what you’re really feeling.
Confidence is sexy because it tells women that you, as a man, are secure with yourself and your goals. A confident man knows what he likes and what he wants, and isn’t afraid to go after it.
A confident man is also a direct man. Being open and direct with your woman is a sign of confidence, and plays a big role in attraction.
This is good news for men. The truth is that women care about confidence far more than penis size, regardless of the size of your member. If you’re confident with your penis size, that’s twice the good news.
But if you’re not happy with the size of your member…and that makes you less than confident while naked, or in the sack……then your partner will be unsatisfied……which makes you even less confident……and less able to wow somebody in the sack.
If this describes your sex life, then you might want to consider natural methods of penis enhancement.
Bottom line: what she thinks of your member matters less to her than what you think of it.
So make sure it’s a member you can be proud of.